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I`ve got an ugly face, With spots all over the place, I haven`t got any mates, And me clothes have gone out of date. I go to the pub on me own, And I drink me orange alone, I sit and stare at the crack, But they just turn their backs. I want to chat them up, But I stare at me feet, And then I go home and I beat me meat. I`m dead shy about the size of me dick, And chips and gravy make me sick. I`m a failure with girls, I don`t know why, He`s a failure with girls, He don`t know why. I`m a failure with girls, They`re so unkind, He`s a failure with girls, They`re so unkind. I`m a failure with girls, They make me cry, He`s a failure with girls, They make him cry. Only wish I could say that I don`t mind. A Macc Lad of me took note, And he poured a pint of bitter down me throat, It were the first pint I ever had, And I changed to a real Macc Lad. Me clothes started looking real flash, I got a tattoo and a moustache, And me car got a go-faster stripe, And now I pull crack every night. And I`m not weak anymore, `Cos me dick measures three foot four, So don`t you call me wimp, `Cos it`s three foot four even when it`s limp. I`m dead macho with girls, I never fail, He`s dead macho with girls, He nevers fails. I`m dead macho with girls `Cos I sup ale, He`s dead macho with girls `Cos he sups ale. I`m dead macho with girls Thanks to Willies, He`s dead macho with girls Thanks to Willies. Only wish I didn`t have VD...
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