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Benefit - If I Owned a Midget
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Benefit - If I Owned a Midget
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(intro) I picked up this midget you know he`s very very well dressed Italian suit good looking with a beautiful tall blond Is it a- a lady midget No the guy was a midget the blond was a lady Oh the- I get it Those midgets are funny hahaha Sometimes I`d like to hold a midget I mean they`re funny They always wanna sit in the front seat- Word
(verse 1) Life`s got me mad But if I had a midget I`d be glad To watch him jump around on my nintendo powerpad He`d have a big head short legs and long torso The name that I give my pet midget is little Gordo I`d teach him tricks like backflips and side kicks When company came over he`d perform and get tips While I`m eatin at night, in the kitchen he`d be able To get the food scraps that I threw under the table If my midget was ever mad and acted enraged Then I`d take him to the bathroom and put him in his cage But If he kept acting up and really made me sick I`d hang him upside down and poke him with a stick Little Gordo would be good most of the time though He`d like to wear a helmet and run around yelling Kaiyo I`d take him for walks in the park on the weekends And if he saw other midgets he`d say Can we be friends He`d only need a 3 foot coffin when he was dead And he`d be in the guiness book for the world`s biggest head What a funny little fellow, but don`t call him a shrimp Or he`ll attack your leg cause Gordos a tough gimp He`d have a pogo ball that he`d bounce on for hours And dirty little fathead Gordo would`nt take showers When Halloween came, he wouldn`t be a chump Gettin all the candy goin round as a tree stump
(scratching/chorus) Midget is a midget Midget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Midget Midget is a midget Hey you guys- Word Midget is a midget Midget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Midget Midget (wo-wo-wo-wo-word) is a midget Like a midget in a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes
(verse 2) Sometimes my friends would chase Gordo with a gun It be fun Because midgets wobble when they run They`re so close to the ground and so easy to kick They`re so slow in the head and so easy to trick Gordo could do somersaults his special thing At the fair I would make him enter mudwrestling Sometimes he`d wear stilts and pretend to be tall Then I`d kick him over- and then i`d laugh at him fall Silly little Gordo, just be yourself I`d put wood on his head, and he`d just be a shelf He`d do funny little dances but that`s irrelevant At the beach Gordo got attacked by pelicans He had a girlfriend once, but she was an ogre It didn`t last long cause he couldn`t fuck her sober Gordo had a problem, Gordo wet the bed so i`d make him wear diapers on his ass and his head He`d have to clean up his own cage himself And if he lost a little weight he`d be a keebler elf He`d really be something, my mangled little munchkin Plus his head would be larger then any big pumpkin This perfect little fool would make a perfect footstool Sometimes I`d kick him in his head and say "bitch be cool" I`d have a great life, I`d be happy I know If I only owned a little pet midget named Gordo (scratching/chorus)
Benefit - If I Owned a Midget
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